By Amanda Huffman
Contributing Writer
I am both a Veteran and a military spouse. I served my country as a U.S. Air Force officer and today, I support my husband as he continues to serve in the U.S. Space Force. As a servicemember, even though I was actively involved in my husband’s spouse group, I didn’t understand the many challenges military spouses face. While I served, my career and future were tied to the military, and then, all of a sudden, I had to step aside to make way for my husband’s career and future and I became an afterthought.
Military spouses face many challenges such as unemployment, career disruptions, and childcare to name a few. What I found most challenging when I shifted from being a servicemember to being a military spouse was how much it appeared that I no longer mattered — and it was a time in my life when I needed to feel that what I did matter. But I continually pushed aside my dreams and desires to focus instead on my husband’s needs and his service.
Over time, as I discovered myself after my service, my husband and I learned to navigate military life together in a way that included both of us and our mutual plans for the future. Although the military only considered his career and his future as it related to our lives, together we made the best choice from the options given to our family. The mission still comes first, but communication has changed to focus on us and not him.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to be on Fox News to promote my book and podcast both titled, Women of the Military, an interview I was really excited about. I planned it around my husband’s busy travel schedule and had everything lined up. A few days before the interview, a work trip came up and my husband thought he would need to be away. At first, I was scrambling and trying to figure out how I could manage both events — going to the interview and ensuring my kids left for school on time.
But before I got too far down the rabbit hole, I asked my husband, “Do you have to go on this trip? Or can someone else?” Ultimately my husband stayed home and I was able to do the interview. But getting to the point of being able to effectively advocate for myself took a lot of self-reflection. If my husband’s answer had been that he couldn’t change his work trip, I would have had to find a way to make my own trip work anyway. That is what military spouses are good at — finding a way despite the challenges.
So, as I reflect on Veterans Day and think about my role as both a military spouse and a Veteran, I see there is value in recognizing all members of the military community for this federal holiday. There are other days and months honoring military families, but outside the military community, most of these days and months are unknown and, therefore, unrecognized. Veterans Day, on the other hand, is a day that everyone celebrates even if they don’t know why. So honoring both servicemembers and their spouses who themselves are “veterans” of military life, makes sense to me.
Every military spouse has their own journey of what it means to shift into and out of this military life, and we are proud to support our spouses for the hard work they do. In fact, the military could not function without military spouses and children who make so many sacrifices to support their servicemembers. So, this Veterans Day as we honor the Veterans who have served, let’s not forget their families, who lived this military life with them.
Amanda is a military Veteran who served in the Air Force for six years as a Civil Engineer who served on a combat deployment with the Army in Afghanistan. She traded in her combat boots for a diaper bag to stay home with her two boys and follow her husband’s military career in the Space Force. Amanda is the host of the Women of the Military podcast. There she shares the stories of women who have served or are serving in the military. The podcast has over 200 episodes and over 100K downloads. Amanda is also an author and has published two books. Her first book, Women of the Military tells the stories of 28 military women who served in the military. Her second book, A Girl’s Guide to Military Service, is the IBPA Benjamin Franklin Gold Winner for Teen Non Fiction. It is a guide for high school girls considering military service to help them build a strong foundation for their future career. She also works as a freelance writer and has been featured in a number of military publications including The War Horse, Military.com, Military Families Magazine, Clearance Jobs, Military Spouse Magazine, and more.
