Longing for some time alone, as in… all to yourself? Or quality time spent with the one you love? Not sure what it even feels or looks like anymore? Vicki DeLuzio wonders why “me time” is so elusive for some and yet so available for others.
Maybe it feels out of reach because of the responsibilities that come with taking care of kids all day long. Maybe it’s because other family members are too far away to help out once in a while. Or maybe it’s because you don’t think you can fit the “me time” into your day. But it’s there, if you look hard enough — maybe not quite in the way you would like it to be….
Below, you can see how Vicki handles it.
I am sure you have seen your share of posts about moms and dads needing their “me time”. If you are like me, you may be in awe of them for being able to incorporate that elusive time into their days.
“Me time” fantasies of going to a spa, a girls night, a girls weekend and trips to unbelievable places do leave me in awe. And a tad bit jealous, sometimes.
My husband and I are both self-employed and we home-school our children. Our “me time” can include, but is not limited to, grocery shopping, errands, working, showering and our every-other-day exercise runs. That’s about it. And, it can get a little disheartening for those of us who cannot get any more “me time” than that.
I know I am a pretty lucky mom to be able to have three wonderful kids — don’t get me wrong. But, the everyday grind can just wear you down. I’ve learned after many years of being a mom and a spouse, that talking with my husband about how we can get things done is more efficient than complaining about what I don’t have time for. I’ve also learned from my group of moms that if we come up with some solutions instead of complaints, it also helps us feel better about what we are doing for ourselves, our kids and our families.
Although I don’t get the weekends off with the gals, I do get time every other day to go running. The running makes me feel healthier and better than a weekend away (I could just imagine the mom guilt I would have).
I get to see my kids learn to read, watch them learn how to handle problems (and struggle through problems) and help them grow emotionally. I get to know their friends. I become friends with their families. And have family relationships. It’s amazing.
Time with others
I speak with my parents and my in-laws about how they can help. This has taken a lot of courage to get out and speak out and say “Can you help us?” Asking for help is hard, but it is harder doing it alone. I often suggest activities that I know the grandparents will enjoy that my kids would like to take part in.
For example, my father taught my oldest how to fix a bike, and my mother taught my daughter how to bake some items. My mother-in-law helped the kids put on a play — and my father-in-law likes teaching my children magic.
I know that sometimes living in a different area of the country than grandparents and other family can be hard, but maybe a neighbor who likes to garden would like a little gardening help, or maybe another mom might have a little toddler that a 7-year-old could help entertain every once in a while. The possibilities are endless.
A time for “us”
Right now, most of our time is focused on our kids. As a family, we call it our “we time”. My husband and I might find a long drive back from a scenic spot and chat in the car while a child or two naps, or we get to hold hands in church while our kiddos are at their programs. But, most times our time is filled with “we time”.
My “me time” doesn’t look like it will be getting a boost anytime soon, but I try to take each day as it comes and take the time when I get it. If you are one of the moms who gets the weekends away for the “me time”, can you send me a postcard so I can daydream?
About Vicki DeLuzio:
Vicki is a mom of three kids five and under. After graduating college in Connecticut with a major in Psychology and minors in Early Childhood Education and Communication, she tried her hand at retail management at Target. Then, while working at the Juvenile Court, she met her web designing (and Army Vet) husband through mutual friends. Wanting a change of pace, cheaper taxes and warmer temperatures, they sold their home and relocated across the country in Surprise, Arizona. Vicki now blogs about all the places they go with reviews about the amenities in Surprise. She is also a licensed Real Estate Agent and loves helping people find homes in the area. You can find her at http://www.surpriseazmom.com.