By Amanda Huffman
Contributing Writer
Is screen time a challenge in your family? It seems that there is so much advice around screens and kids that it can get overwhelming.
There is good reason to be concerned about screens and kids. Data on tech usage shows that tech is having a negative effect on children’s health — both mental and physical. But that doesn’t mean you need to swear off using technology or certain apps to keep your kids safe and protected. Instead, your family can incorporate some tools and rules to help you navigate the best and smartest use of technology.
Create and Enforce Family Rules
In our home, we have a lot of rules about screens. We change these rules as needed to adapt to our busy lives. For example, the amount of screen time our kids receive in the summer is different than during the school year. Also, as the kids get older, we change what is available to them so that they are always using age-appropriate platforms and apps. One thing that doesn’t change is that we as parents have total access to our kids’ devices. We know which video games they are playing, who they are talking to, and which websites they are visiting. Screens are only available to them in a “public” setting such as the living room or kitchen. Our kids are not allowed to use screens in their bedroom because we have found it leads to them making poor choices.
Another thing to be aware of is that your children are watching your technology habits. Make sure that you include yourself when creating rules around technology so that your children can see you are creating better screen boundaries as well. Remember, they will model your behavior. If you don’t stick to the rules, it’s likely that neither will they.
Don’t Give in to Peer Pressure
My kids often complain that their friends are allowed to visit different websites or play different games. My husband and I take time to discuss each request from our children and do our research to decide whether to allow the change. Many times the answer is no. While we may have been asked about the same video game multiple times, we focus on what is best for our family and not what “everyone” else is doing. Here’s a news flash: It turns out that when I talk to other parents, their kids are not doing things “everyone” else is supposedly doing.
Use Tech Tools
There are some useful tools that allow parents to have extra peace of mind while allowing their children to search the internet. For example, there’s a popular app called Bark that allows parents to monitor content, track location, manage screen time, block content, and more. Using tools like this is a great way to create an additional layer of protection, especially as children get older and have more access to screens with less supervision.
Create Contracts Around Tech
It is important to talk to your children about the freedom, responsibilities, and dangers that come with having and using a smartphone. In fact, experts recommend creating a contract with your child when you give them a cell phone or after a phone has been given, if there are challenges in using the device appropriately. A contract allows both you and your child to be involved in setting the boundaries and listing consequences when those boundaries are broken.
Remember Tech Can Be a Gift
There is so much negativity around screen time that it can sometimes feel overwhelming. But remember, technology is also a gift. It can allow your child to learn things quickly, with little effort, and with a lot of options, which is not possible without the internet. Tech can also enable preteens more freedom when it comes to spending time with their friends by allowing you as a parent to keep track of them.
October is Cybersecurity Awareness Month and it is a great time to assess or reassess your family and how they relate to tech. It is great to do a yearly check in. Things you can check are updating your contact list and purging any old contacts (especially true if you have PCS’ed). Check to see if there are any apps on your phone that you are no longer using. Delete unused apps and make sure apps you apply the most up-to-date security update. It is also a good time to check your passwords to see if there are any that need to be updated and changed. Regular tech maintenance is great and using October to do a full update yearly is smart for you, and your whole family.
Amanda is a military Veteran who served in the Air Force for six years as a Civil Engineer who served on a combat deployment with the Army in Afghanistan. She traded in her combat boots for a diaper bag to stay home with her two boys and follow her husband’s military career in the Space Force. Amanda is the host of the Women of the Military podcast. There she shares the stories of women who have served or are serving in the military. The podcast has over 200 episodes and over 100K downloads. Amanda is also an author and has published two books. Her first book, Women of the Military tells the stories of 28 military women who served in the military. Her second book, A Girl’s Guide to Military Service, is the IBPA Benjamin Franklin Gold Winner for Teen Non Fiction. It is a guide for high school girls considering military service to help them build a strong foundation for their future career. She also works as a freelance writer and has been featured in a number of military publications including The War Horse, Military.com, Military Families Magazine, Clearance Jobs, Military Spouse Magazine, and more.
