Dear Ms. Vicki

I need some advice. My husband is in the Army and we have one beautiful son. Life seems to be going great right now between me and him. He is stationed in Germany and I am in Kansas. Me and my husband are 20 years old. We are good in our marriage except for one thing and that’s money. He sends home $250 every 2 weeks if he feels like, but the majority of the time he does that after I beg him for it for days. I have to try to split that money between me and my son. My son is 7 months and is huge. Plus I have stuff I need to do also. But whenever I ask him to send money home, it’s a problem. I talked to his recruiter and it didn’t help. He said he can only suggest that he do it. Everywhere I turn, no one is helping me for real. He sends his mother home money also because I stay with her. But I even asked him to help me get an apartment and he said no, I need stay with his mom because it’s easier. We were supposed to join him in Korea, but he changed his mind. Ms.Vicki, I am very frustrated and confused. Please help me.

Thanks B.L.

Dear B.L.

Thank you so much for reading Dear Ms. Vicki and for writing to me. I can see that you are quite frustrated with this situation. However, I’m thinking that your husband probably joined the Army when he was 18 maybe and perhaps he is a CPL/SPC E-4? Correct me if I’m wrong. So his monthly salary could be about $1,700-$1,900 a month before taxes. Let’s say  he’s making at the high end $1,900 and he pays about $250 a month in taxes. He has $1,650 left. He usually sends you $250 twice a month so that’s $500 dollars. Now he has $1,150 left. He sends his mother money because you and his son live in her home. It’s only fair that he pays his mother to let you and his son live there. I’m assuming he sends her $500 a month, a little more or less. Now he has $650 left for the month divided by four weeks. This equals $162.50. Honestly, I don’t think he can afford to get you an apartment or send any more money. In your defense, I think he should consistently send you the $250 every pay day. Yes, I know that taking care of a child is very expensive because your son has many needs. I have 3 sons and I know it’s not easy. So, if your husband sends you another $62.50 a week, then it leaves him with $100 dollars a week.

What I’m saying is that your husband is “strapped” too. He doesn’t have a lot of money. I was thinking that perhaps you can begin working part-time or full-time to help with the expenses. I’m sure your husband would be grateful. Think of it this way, if you work to help with the expenses, maybe you could save the money that he sends and put it in a family account. This will help you and your husband in the future tremendously. I’m not blaming you because I know you have needs too. However, I think it’s probably time for you to help out financially too. Please let me know what you decide to do.

– Ms.Vicki


About Vicki

Hi! My name is Ms. Vicki and I’m a native of Dallas. I’m married to an active-duty Soldier and we have three sons. I’ve always had a gift for giving quick advice and steering people in the right direction. I have a Master’s of Science in Social Work from the University of Louisville and I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I provide services for a wide array of concerns such as combat stress, PTSD, couples and marital problems, depression, grief and loss, stress and coping, etc. Find out more at my website.


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