By Andrea Scherpich
SpouseLink Ambassador
When my husband Jim received the email informing him that he was selected for a great promotion, it was so exciting for us. But within a day or two we also got the news that, although we have only been at our current military duty station in the DC metro area seven months, we would not be staying. Despite assurances when we first moved here that we could stay in our current location for several years, the rug was being pulled out from under us. We would be going back across the country. After having spent months of house hunting and school hunting, in the end, we would only be staying here 11 months.
There are so many emotions that go along with this situation. Of course, I have pride in Jim that’s never in doubt. But I also have anger at the upheaval, stress over having to find another fantastic school — this time in a remote location, fear of the financial implications of selling a home we have owned for less than a year, and frustration that just when we feel settled, we are being ripped away.
It’s not always easy, this military life we live. We military spouses are often alone. We have little control over where we are going to live, and we have no idea if we will be in a location at any given time. I have always assumed an “It will all work out” philosophy, but this time it has been harder to get to that point. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to trek across the United States again. There are so many things I had wanted to do while we were in this area.
Every time we move it means finding a new medical team, and trying to get referrals, medication and the proper care for my son who depends on their services. Pediatricians rarely know the disease my son has, let alone how to treat him, so I will once again have to sit with a doctor explaining all the complexities that go along with a child with a rare disease. This is always a big issue for me, but this time it’s even more stressful because we are in the process of my son starting a new medical trial. While we will be returning to a team we are familiar with, they may not be familiar with the current trial.
To make matters even more complicated, our orders needed to be approved by EFMP (the Exceptional Family Member Program). Initially, we were denied, and Jim had to submit a letter stating that we would accept responsibility for any hardship that comes with a longer commute to a specialist. We felt like we were having to beg to execute orders that we didn’t ask for.
Will everything work out? Of course it will.
Will I have to jump through a million hoops to make it all work out? Most definitely.
The one thing I can say with assurance is that no matter where we end up, we will all be together. So, as I make the plans and do the research, I also remind myself that I get to live this life and overall, it’s a good one. While we are still here in our current location, I get to do things like visit The White House — and that’s because of this life. So, although it’s hard, and I am still processing all the feelings that go along with the upcoming move, I am slowly getting a little more excited. I am finding small glimmers of what life will look like next year and all the adventures we will have.
I know that it’s okay to feel sad, mad, frustrated and scared, but I try not to linger in those for too long. Instead, I am working towards
Meet SpouseLink
Ambassador Andrea
She served as our representative at Twentynine Palms, CA for 5 years and is currently at Camp Pendleton, CA. Connect with her for insights about the areas she’s lived in.
